Resurrection! Of course, I would come back to blogging when everyone else has migrated to the sunny shores of Instagram. I'm there too, I'm sure you could make a lucky and accurate guess to my username over yonder...
What a difference a couple -- few -- many (!) years make. In some ways, little has changed but everything around those little things has changed a lot. This blogpost was actually saved as a draft, reflecting on then recent realisations, stuff I had started doing (and continued! How proud past me would be!) and then I pretty much forgot about this blog and why I even started it and so on...
"Last year was a very up and down one for me, luckily more up than down. It's very funny to me that I'm much more at ease with myself now - I couldn't imagine doing anything that I do now without thinking (barely wearing makeup, wearing my handmade dresses, saying no to things I would have felt obligated to do in the past...) a few years ago. Maybe age does bring wisdom after all!"
That's me all the way back in 2020. Before the plague times (that was a rough..well, it's still kinda rough out there tbh). I've started working a little part time job since then and moved to a new area and well...
"It's been a very relaxed start to the year so far, me and M. went away to Conwy for a week this month. More a holiday for our dogs really as there was plenty of walks on the beaches and fields. Very good for us humans too though! We visited the Water Gardens one day (it's free and I highly recommend you visit!) where we saw a capybara, sadly his mate had very recently passed away so he seemed quite depressed, I hope they find him a new friend soon."
Yes. That's a huge change. No more M in my life. The dogs remain with me, plenty of walks in fields and cuddles. After many years together, M decided he loved someone else. Someone else I suspect he had always carried a torch for. Oh gosh, it really fucking hurt. Then I got angry and determined. I got a different job (playing with ribbons! Oh, I loved it so!) and started planning for a very different future. Me and the dogs. No man, no master.
And then something stupidly contrived and saccharine and horribly rom-com...I met someone. He reached out from a very unexpected place and it just gently happened without me really realising it. Maybe I had been carrying a torch for this one the whole time, holding it up and never seeing the face I was meant to be looking upon every morning until I met him. Or maybe I went with my gut, fuck it, life is too short to do the whole to hell with men thing and deny yourself a bit of happiness.
And I am very happy now.
